I didn’t have enough time to … Is this one of your favorite phrases? Do you hear it from your team members?  The leader establishes the culture of the organization; therefore, if the leader isn’t concerned with effective time management – no one will be concerned. There will never be enough time.

This two part article is an overview of my presentation It’s About Time: Control Your Time – Control Your Life on Thursday, March 1, 2012 at West Wake Tech in Cary, NC. Click Here to register.

Part I – Plan the Work and Work the Plan

Control is not a four letter word, yet people appear to be hesitant to use the word. We hear people lament that “my life is out of control” yet seldom hear, I’ve got control of my life.”  The more you believe you can get control, the more you will try to control, the more you will control. When you get control of your time, you will get control of your life.
Since each person is unique, there is no one size fits all method to get control of your time.  Here’s a new flash…You get to choose to get control. Yes, it is about choice. We do what is important to us. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

To get control of your time, you’ve got to play to your strengths. Identify your strengths and collaborate with others who have complimentary strengths. If one of your strengths is communication, collaborate with a person whose strength is focus. If your strength is not working with excel spreadsheets – find someone who loves excel spreadsheets. You waste time trying to turn a weakness into strength. Play to your strengths.

How much time a week do you spend planning? Thirty minutes spent planning enables most people to recover an hour a day. The key to successful planning is to answer the Big Six Questions:  

1. Results – what do I want; what are my goals?    
2. Activities – what must I do to achieve these goals?
3. Priorities – what are my priorities? What do I do first? What can wait?
4. Time – how much time must I dedicate to each activity? (Be realistic, everything takes more time than you think)
5. Schedule – each activity. What time of day will I commit to each activity?
6. Flexibility – what will I do about things you can not control?

Is scheduling and planning interchangeable? No, planning is deciding what to do. Scheduling is deciding when to do it. Planning is an intention; scheduling is a commitment. Shut your door. Don’t check emails and do not answer the phone. Give yourself quiet time to do your planning and scheduling.

Goal is a four-letter word. I encourage clients to replace goal with intention.  Anyone can set a goal for you, but only you can set your intentions. Setting intentions is more powerful than goal setting. You want those intentions to be SMART:  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timed.

Next month, Part II – Results or Consequences.  If you want to get control of your time – and your life, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

How do you know if you are doing as good job as leader? If you have a boss, they will evaluate you; however, an extraordinary leader asks for feedback from their subordinates and colleagues.

I once suggested to a CEO of an organization that they have the leadership team evaluated anonymously by the employees. He was horrified. “What if they are critical,” he asked? “I think you want to know that, I replied.” He did not take action.

Now 360 evaluations are utilized by many organizations. A trend in one senior executive’s 360 was that he lacked public speaking skills. As a result of learning this, he joined Toastmasters to improve that skill.

Trust is critical in any business or organization and staff evaluations of leaders builds trust. Are you ready to ask for feedback?

Seek feedback. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
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I recently heard Katty Kay, a correspondent for BBC, speak at the Connected Women of North Carolina event. She co-authored “Womenonmics” with Clare Shipmen from ABC. The book emphasizes the power that women have in business including the power to create the work schedule you want.

Here are their “Nine Rules to Negotiation.”

• Negotiate from a position of fact-based strength
• Perform well and know it
• Never negotiate in anger
• Know what you are asking for
• Be prepared to reassure your boss, on every level
• Remember, you are dealing with a jittery child. There will be worries you haven’t even though of.
• Use economics to your advantage
• Now that you’ve got your deal, don’t take it for granted, or, “Its’ the communication stupid.”
• Know when to quit.

If you are negotiating a raise, transition, promotion or anything else and want help in the process, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

We are trying to avoid something. Perhaps we’ve been asked to do something we don’t want to do. Instead of saying no, we’ve said yes and regret that decision.

We are reacting to a situation.

We feel like we aren’t good enough. Some women struggle with their identity after they turn fifty, they retire or their children leave. They are guilty because they feel lost.

We can’t forgive ourselves, or others. Forgiveness of self and others frees us so that we can manifest positive energy rather than wallowing in negative energy.

We “should” and “ought” ourselves. How many times have you said “I should’ve known…?” My first response when I learned that we had received a fraudulent offer on our house that was for sale was “I should’ve known.”

What if … We look at the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario.

Our religious upbringing taught us to be guilty.

As children we heard these phrases with negative endings:

• “You are always…”
• “You never…”
• “It’s your fault…”

Try these tips for positively dealing with guilt:

• Focus on your strengths. Get the book Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath and take the online assessment. Ask your friends what they think your strengths are.
• Practice affirmations. Create positive statements about yourself and post them where you will see them often. Put one on your computer screen, on the mirror, in your car.
• Release the power draining words “should” “ought” and “need” and replace them with the powerful phrase “I choose to…”
• Ask for what you want so you won’t feel guilty when you do make requests. My Grandmother once said to my Mother, “how will Betsy ever get what she wants if she doesn’t ask for it?”
• Treat yourself to something you love – because you are worth it.
• If you’ve made a mistake, accept it and move on. Say to yourself “I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.”

Guilt is a wasted emotion. Let it go!

I can’t remember where I first saw this question, but I wrote it on a post it note and stuck it to my computer screen. It reminds me that in order to succeed, we have to fail – and maybe many times.

My Google search on famous people who failed resulted in Fifty Famously Successful People Who Failed at First. You’ve probably seen the list, but here are a few. Interestingly, there are seven women in this list of fifty famous people. So let’s start with them.

Oprah Winfrey: Oprah had an abusive childhood and when she was fired from a television reporter position, she was told she was “unfit for tv.” She is now one of the richest and most successful women in the world.

Lucille Ball: Lucy’s drama instructors didn’t think she could make it and early in her career she was considered a failed actress and B movie star. During her life she had thirteen Emmy nominations and earned the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Kennedy Center Honors.

Marilyn Monroe: Although brief, Marilyn did have a time of great success. She was once told that by an agent that she should consider being a secretary. She is still recognized today.

J. K. Rowling: After experiencing depression and depending on welfare as a single mother, she is now a multimillionaire.

Now for the gentleman.

Henry Ford: After five business failures, Henry finally started Ford Motor Company.

Sidney Poitier: After his first audition, Sidney was told to get a job as a dishwasher. He became one of the most respected actors in the business and won an Academy Award.

Abraham Lincoln: As a young man he went to war as a captain and returned as a private. The rest is history.

Albert Einstein: Albert didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until he was seven. He was expelled from school and refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He is now recognized as a genius.

What are the “lessons learned” from these powerful stories?
1.    Be persistent and believe in yourself.
2.    Be bold and pursue your dreams.
3.    Learn from every failure, and make adjustments.

If you are not failing enough – get busy. Your success depends on you.

One of my Eight Essential Elements of Extraordinary Leadership is “developing self and others”. Since the last edition of Leadership Tips I traveled to Naples. FL and spoke at the Association of Florida Colleges Convention. As I networked before and after my presentation, I was reminded of how important it is for leaders to participate in professional development activities and to provide opportunities for their teams to also attend professional development programs.

The participants at the AFC convention were energized, excited and enthusiastic. Not only were they learning new skills and techniques to improve their job performance, they were learning personal development skills like finding balance between work and life.

It is important for people (leaders and others) to focus on personal development. As I have stated many times, employees want to know that they matter. When they know that they are important to the leader, they are more engaged and that engagement translates into greater productivity. Whether your professional development activities are held at your business or off site, employees receive the message that “we matter.”

What do you do to develop self and others? I will be conducting several workshops in December titled “Growing Your Career and Balancing Your Life”. Please check out my “Claiming Your Value” power point presentation.  Contact me to schedule a workshop, seminar or presentation at your business to kick off the New Year.

My boss invited me to lunch and during lunch informed me that “she was losing a position” When I asked who, she replied “you.”

I’ve heard variations of this story many times in my coaching business. This client was a few years away from full retirement benefits and while he did not lose his job, he was demoted back to a position he had held several years ago. He was devastated, but stayed with the company so that he could collect his retirement benefits. He continues to “put on a happy face” at work – but struggles every day.

This negative dynamic caused ripples (shock waves) through the organization. The employee’s colleagues saw that he had been reassigned, with no explanation, and lived in fear that next time it would be one of them. His clients wondered what was happening. Negative energy ran rampant and productivity plummeted. Loyalty to the organization disappeared.

The Gallup Organization’s research shows that the most important aspect for productive employees is to let them know that they matter. My client knew that he was not valued and no matter how he endeavored to stay professional, the situation took its toll on his emotional and physical health.

Delivering bad news is hard for the manager and the recipient; however, there are strategies that can counteract the damage to the employee’s ego and  can make the manager look less evil. It appears that the manager in this scenario had no coaching or training in “crucial conversations.”

If you have bad news to communicate, follow these eight steps:

1. Bring the employee into your office – not to the local Starbucks
2. Explain that the business is going through changes
3. Convey to the employee that this is a difficult situation
4. Explain, as much as you can, why this employee is “the chosen one”
5. Reassure him that his job is safe
6. Thank him for a job well done
7. Answer any questions
8. Ask for his continued loyalty to the company

Leadership is not for the faint hearted and human performance management is one of the most complicated facets of leadership. Leaders are often promoted to leadership roles with no preparation. Are you a leader who is faced with conducting these hard talks? Are you the recipient of this kind of bad news?

I coach leaders to conduct these difficult discussions so that the recipient suffers the least damage.

I coach employees who are struggling to maintain their professionalism (and their self worth) after they have received the dreadful news.

How many times have you heard a woman say “I don’t do this for the money?” My esthetician once told me that “she didn’t do her work for the money.” So I offered not to pay her. She declined my offer.

I was interviewing a realtor to list my house and she told me that she didn’t go into real estate for the money.  Instead of thinking “wow, she must really love her work”, my reaction was to tell her that I was concerned about listing the house with her. I did want to make money on the house and I wanted my realtor to want to make money, too. If money wasn’t important, she was not my girl.

“I don’t do this for the money” is a term that women use to give away their power. Why do we give away our power? Some women have been socialized to believe that it is unladylike to want to make money, be powerful and successful. Powerful women can be intimidating and we don’t want to intimidate people. We prefer to give away our power.

Do you give away your power? What would you like to change in order to embrace your power and stop giving it away?

This week take notice when you use terms that give away your power. Make a list of the instances and choose to change. Want help? Contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

Welcome to Women’s Leadership Matters, a blog for women leaders, both experienced leaders and emerging leaders. In the blog I will share strategies to help you get what you want/deserve and to take control of your time and your life. I will also address issues that my clients have brought to me, and I’ll share some success stories – as well as some horror stories.

Women’s Leadership Matters focuses on the double entendre of matters. Women’s Leadership does matter because of the changes we have brought to leadership. Women lead from the heart and the head, not just from the head. Women’s leadership is relational as well as rational. Women are inclusive.

The matters of women’s leadership are profuse. Are we taken seriously? Are we heard in the workplace? Are our initiatives implemented? Are we valued?

Before we look forward, let’s take a glimpse back…

Remember when you were five years old and you were awesome? Every day you got out of bed and knew you were awesome. It did not matter if your hair was askew or if you were missing a tooth or more – you were awesome. It didn’t even matter if you wore your red cowboy boots to church with your lace dress – because you were awesome.

Then society started sending you messages that you weren’t awesome. You were too thin or too fat. Too tall or too short. Too smart or not smart enough.  Too athletic or not athletic enough. You began to doubt that you were awesome.

Get rid of the doubt because you are still awesome. Remind yourself by making a list of your awesomeness. Don’t be shy – be bold! This list is just for you. Every time when you look into the mirror, say the affirmation “I am awesome.” When you truly believe that you are awesome, you will present an attitude of confidence to others. And confidence matters in leadership.

I’d love to hear from you about your successes and your challenges because Women’s Leadership Matters.  What matters to you in your leadership journey? Are you progressing at the rate you want? Working with me as your coach can help you achieve your goals more quickly. If you are ready to move forward and to get what you deserve, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

Stay awesome! – Betsy

Are you a credible leader? I recently reread Barbara Pagano’s book The Transparency Edge (Purchase Book Here) and this article is my “book report.” Pagano’s premise is that in order to be a credible leader, you have to be transparent. She supports this premise in interviews with numerous leaders in industry and in non profit organizations.

Pagano has eight steps to transparency.

1. Be overwhelming honest. Tell your team when things are great and when things are not so great. This builds incredible trust and helps the team understand that at  times you can not tell them everything.
2. Gather intelligence. Asking others for their opinion conveys respect and shows them that they matter.  Be courageous, ask for feedback regarding your performance. Make adjustments based on that feedback.
3. Be composed. Remember, the leader sets the organizational culture and if the leader is composed the organization will be composed. Share your opinions and emotions, but do not let it all hang out.
4. Let your guard down. Keep in mind the spirit of authenticity and work hard to build meaningful relationships. Create opportunities to engage your employees so they get to know you.
5. Keep your promises. Words and actions must match. In a dynamic organization, promise must sometimes be broken and a transparent leader can explain the change. The employees will maintain their trust in the leader.
6. Handle Mistakes Properly. How you handle mistakes may be more important than getting it right. Confessing mistakes signal courage, accountability and – humility.
7. Deliver bad news well. Delivering bas news is an essential part of leadership that builds credibility. If bad news is delivered poorly people may feel betrayed, angry and indignant.
8. Avoid destructive comments. Respect your people by modeling positive language. Communicate with each person equally, whether you are speaking with a vice president or clerk.

How transparent should you be? Should you tell everything about your personal and professional life? No you should not. Each person and each business has their own level of transparency.

If you are ready to take your leadership skills to the next level, contact me to schedule a complimentary coaching session.