Why Bother?

Do you want to get promoted? Do you want to earn more money? Do you want a new job? Do you want to be a part of a successful organization? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then I recommend that you hone your networking acumen.

You’ve heard the quote, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” But, you do not have to know someone important.. What’s important is to know someone who knows someone.

It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or an extravert, you can learn to enjoy and succeed at networking. Remember, the terms introvert and extravert refer to how you get reenergized. Introverts can be outgoing; however, they need alone time to recharge their batteries. Extraverts are usually outgoing and they require interaction with people to recharge. Extraverts may talk too much at networking events – introverts may be uncomfortable.

Effective networking necessitates both setting an objective and allowing for spontaneity. Be strategic. If you want to learn about an area in your company, identify people or events in that area and attend. If you are seeking a job and you want to work in a large corporation, do not networking at events for small business owners. And by the way, if you are looking for a job – limit the time you spend in groups of people who are looking for jobs. They can’t give you work.

Consider every event a networking event. I’ve gotten coaching clients on the tennis court and at the ophthalmologist’s office. Where do you spend your recreational time? At the soccer field or in the gym? If your organization sponsors a charity event, volunteer to help.

What do you do?

Yes, this is the question. Respond with statements that make you memorable. Not “I am a software engineer.” Tell them what you do and have several options.

*I coach executive and professional women to “be one of the boys”, without being one of the boys.
*I work with executive and professionals who occasionally feel frustrated because they don’t feel that they are heard or that their ideas are implemented.
*I coach executive and professionals to get control of their time and their life.
*I coach professionals who are job hunting to get the job of their dreams.

100 hundred words.

That’s how many words you have to explain how you do what you do.

When I work with my clients, the first thing we do is to identify their strengths using an online assessment. Next we focus on their goal and get very clear on what they want. We write that goal with great specificity and create a step by step action plan with accountability measures to help them achieve the goal by maximizing their strengths. Most clients develop strategies for dealing with being overwhelmed, communication and presentation skills. At the end of our engagement they fell that they have control of their time and their life.

Build your network one person at a time. Remember, networking is a marathon – not a sprint.

In next month’s newsletter I will share strategies to engage people in conversations, strategies to follow up on conversations and strategies to find the right place to network.

If you need a speaker for an event or if you are ready to network for success, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

The customer’s perception is your reality. ~Kate Zabriskie

We all know the importance of great customer service. Banks have customer relationship managers and large corporations have customer service representatives and books have been written about good customer service. There are over one million citations on Google about customer service. Customer service is a hot topic.

I live in a relatively new neighborhood and the retail shops in the shopping center are just beginning to open. We now have a grocery store, several restaurants, beauty salons, a MacDonald’s and a dry cleaning establishment. I have little dry cleaning and so I visit the cleaners about once every other month.

On my first visit to Cary Park Cleaners, I was impressed with the friendliness of the person at the counter. I was pleasantly surprised when I made my second visit, two month later, and she called me by name.

I read once that the most important word to a person is their name. This experience reinforces that notion.

There are less expensive dry cleaners, not as convenient although I could go to them. But I don’t. I go back to the place where she knew my name. The theme music to the TV show “Cheers” is playing in my brain.

Your customer doesn’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.~Damon Richards

The same is true with employees. Employees want to know how much the leader cares. Knowing their names shows that you care. If you aren’t gifted with the skill of a great memory, find techniques to help you remember names. Be genuine. Take time to learn about an employee. Ask, sincerely, about their life outside of work. Be the role model of engaging.

How to ask for a raise, promotion, transfer, new project…

Client: “I’ve worked for my company for 7 years and have always had great performance reviews. I want to be promoted to Senior Project Manager.”

Betsy: “Why do you want to be promoted?”

Client: “I already do part of the job and I will learn more about project management. I need a higher salary and as SeniorProject Manager, I will have a little more flexibility in my schedule. I’m tired of working with this team. They are complacent and I have to do their job and mine.”

Betsy: “What is the benefit to your company for you to be promoted?”

Client: Moments of silence…followed by “I don’t know.”

Although great companies have programs to keep employees engaged and satisfied, if you want a raise or promotion, you have to consider the benefit to the company – “What’s In It for Them?”

These strategies will help you get what you want.

• Focus, and be very clear about what you want.
  Know what position you want and know how much money you desire
• Choose the right time.
  At the end of a very good quarter or after an excellent performance evaluation.
• List your accomplishments and results.
  Practice verbalizing them to a friend.
• Ask with confidence.
  Do not apologize. “I don’t want to be a bother…” Or “I don’t intend to be braggadocios…”
• Clearly outline the benefit to the company.
  Will your promotion provide better customer service? Create new customers? Fill a vacant position? Generate more revenue?
• Have a plan if your request is not granted.
  Will you be happy staying in your current position?

Results or consequences – which motivate you? Are you motivated by getting great results, or are you motivated by possible unpleasant consequences? Remember please, that each individual is unique and there is no “one size fits all time mastery plan.” What is your Prime Time? Are you most productive in the morning, or do you really kick into gear after lunch? Are you a linear (left brain) thinker or are you a global (right brain) thinker?  Are you visual (need to see things) or are you tactile (need to touch). All of these characteristics define how you get control of your time.

Steven Covey taught us to “start at the end and work forward”. In order to start at the end, we must focus and be very clear about what we want to achieve. The more specific you are when you define the results you want, the easier it is to create the path to achieve them. This specificity necessitates that priorities are established. In the workshop we rated priorities by Urgent, Important, Not Important and I’m Not Going To Do This. The items that fell in the I’m Not Going To Do This Category were easily dismissed so that the participants’ total attention could be focused on the other three categories.

Projects result from prioritization. If a project seems overwhelming, break it into bite size pieces. Schedule the pieces and before too long the project will be complete. This is true for To Do Lists that are overwhelming. Practice The Rule of Three if your To Do is enormous. Choose (prioritize) three things that you will accomplish from your To Do List each day. Even if the list stays large, you will have the satisfaction that you have accomplished three things each day.

Procrastination plagues us all. Plans go astray, dreams go unfulfilled and time is wasted by procrastination. Procrastination is doing low-priority actions or tasks instead of high priority ones. If you work at home, procrastination might be doing the laundry on the day your article about Controlling Time is due. What causes procrastination? According to the Time Mastery Profile, there are three major causes of procrastination. We tend to put off:

• things that are unpleasant
• things that are difficult
• things that involve tough decisions

If procrastination is one of your challenges do the toughest jobs first. Tackle unpleasant tasks in small pieces and short time segments. Celebrate successes along the way. And most importantly, do not be a perfectionist. You are paid to get results, not be perfect.

What motivates you, great results or the fear of negative consequences? Focus on results and the negative consequences will become smaller and smaller.

I now offer a Time Mastery Profile™  assessment to facilitate my clients in controlling their time. If you are serious and ready to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life, contact me.

I didn’t have enough time to … Is this one of your favorite phrases? Do you hear it from your team members?  The leader establishes the culture of the organization; therefore, if the leader isn’t concerned with effective time management – no one will be concerned. There will never be enough time.

This two part article is an overview of my presentation It’s About Time: Control Your Time – Control Your Life on Thursday, March 1, 2012 at West Wake Tech in Cary, NC. Click Here to register.

Part I – Plan the Work and Work the Plan

Control is not a four letter word, yet people appear to be hesitant to use the word. We hear people lament that “my life is out of control” yet seldom hear, I’ve got control of my life.”  The more you believe you can get control, the more you will try to control, the more you will control. When you get control of your time, you will get control of your life.
Since each person is unique, there is no one size fits all method to get control of your time.  Here’s a new flash…You get to choose to get control. Yes, it is about choice. We do what is important to us. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

To get control of your time, you’ve got to play to your strengths. Identify your strengths and collaborate with others who have complimentary strengths. If one of your strengths is communication, collaborate with a person whose strength is focus. If your strength is not working with excel spreadsheets – find someone who loves excel spreadsheets. You waste time trying to turn a weakness into strength. Play to your strengths.

How much time a week do you spend planning? Thirty minutes spent planning enables most people to recover an hour a day. The key to successful planning is to answer the Big Six Questions:  

1. Results – what do I want; what are my goals?    
2. Activities – what must I do to achieve these goals?
3. Priorities – what are my priorities? What do I do first? What can wait?
4. Time – how much time must I dedicate to each activity? (Be realistic, everything takes more time than you think)
5. Schedule – each activity. What time of day will I commit to each activity?
6. Flexibility – what will I do about things you can not control?

Is scheduling and planning interchangeable? No, planning is deciding what to do. Scheduling is deciding when to do it. Planning is an intention; scheduling is a commitment. Shut your door. Don’t check emails and do not answer the phone. Give yourself quiet time to do your planning and scheduling.

Goal is a four-letter word. I encourage clients to replace goal with intention.  Anyone can set a goal for you, but only you can set your intentions. Setting intentions is more powerful than goal setting. You want those intentions to be SMART:  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Timed.

Next month, Part II – Results or Consequences.  If you want to get control of your time – and your life, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

How do you know if you are doing as good job as leader? If you have a boss, they will evaluate you; however, an extraordinary leader asks for feedback from their subordinates and colleagues.

I once suggested to a CEO of an organization that they have the leadership team evaluated anonymously by the employees. He was horrified. “What if they are critical,” he asked? “I think you want to know that, I replied.” He did not take action.

Now 360 evaluations are utilized by many organizations. A trend in one senior executive’s 360 was that he lacked public speaking skills. As a result of learning this, he joined Toastmasters to improve that skill.

Trust is critical in any business or organization and staff evaluations of leaders builds trust. Are you ready to ask for feedback?

Seek feedback. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
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I recently heard Katty Kay, a correspondent for BBC, speak at the Connected Women of North Carolina event. She co-authored “Womenonmics” with Clare Shipmen from ABC. The book emphasizes the power that women have in business including the power to create the work schedule you want.

Here are their “Nine Rules to Negotiation.”

• Negotiate from a position of fact-based strength
• Perform well and know it
• Never negotiate in anger
• Know what you are asking for
• Be prepared to reassure your boss, on every level
• Remember, you are dealing with a jittery child. There will be worries you haven’t even though of.
• Use economics to your advantage
• Now that you’ve got your deal, don’t take it for granted, or, “Its’ the communication stupid.”
• Know when to quit.

If you are negotiating a raise, transition, promotion or anything else and want help in the process, contact me for a complimentary coaching session.

We are trying to avoid something. Perhaps we’ve been asked to do something we don’t want to do. Instead of saying no, we’ve said yes and regret that decision.

We are reacting to a situation.

We feel like we aren’t good enough. Some women struggle with their identity after they turn fifty, they retire or their children leave. They are guilty because they feel lost.

We can’t forgive ourselves, or others. Forgiveness of self and others frees us so that we can manifest positive energy rather than wallowing in negative energy.

We “should” and “ought” ourselves. How many times have you said “I should’ve known…?” My first response when I learned that we had received a fraudulent offer on our house that was for sale was “I should’ve known.”

What if … We look at the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario.

Our religious upbringing taught us to be guilty.

As children we heard these phrases with negative endings:

• “You are always…”
• “You never…”
• “It’s your fault…”

Try these tips for positively dealing with guilt:

• Focus on your strengths. Get the book Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath and take the online assessment. Ask your friends what they think your strengths are.
• Practice affirmations. Create positive statements about yourself and post them where you will see them often. Put one on your computer screen, on the mirror, in your car.
• Release the power draining words “should” “ought” and “need” and replace them with the powerful phrase “I choose to…”
• Ask for what you want so you won’t feel guilty when you do make requests. My Grandmother once said to my Mother, “how will Betsy ever get what she wants if she doesn’t ask for it?”
• Treat yourself to something you love – because you are worth it.
• If you’ve made a mistake, accept it and move on. Say to yourself “I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.”

Guilt is a wasted emotion. Let it go!

I can’t remember where I first saw this question, but I wrote it on a post it note and stuck it to my computer screen. It reminds me that in order to succeed, we have to fail – and maybe many times.

My Google search on famous people who failed resulted in Fifty Famously Successful People Who Failed at First. You’ve probably seen the list, but here are a few. Interestingly, there are seven women in this list of fifty famous people. So let’s start with them.

Oprah Winfrey: Oprah had an abusive childhood and when she was fired from a television reporter position, she was told she was “unfit for tv.” She is now one of the richest and most successful women in the world.

Lucille Ball: Lucy’s drama instructors didn’t think she could make it and early in her career she was considered a failed actress and B movie star. During her life she had thirteen Emmy nominations and earned the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Kennedy Center Honors.

Marilyn Monroe: Although brief, Marilyn did have a time of great success. She was once told that by an agent that she should consider being a secretary. She is still recognized today.

J. K. Rowling: After experiencing depression and depending on welfare as a single mother, she is now a multimillionaire.

Now for the gentleman.

Henry Ford: After five business failures, Henry finally started Ford Motor Company.

Sidney Poitier: After his first audition, Sidney was told to get a job as a dishwasher. He became one of the most respected actors in the business and won an Academy Award.

Abraham Lincoln: As a young man he went to war as a captain and returned as a private. The rest is history.

Albert Einstein: Albert didn’t speak until he was four and didn’t read until he was seven. He was expelled from school and refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He is now recognized as a genius.

What are the “lessons learned” from these powerful stories?
1.    Be persistent and believe in yourself.
2.    Be bold and pursue your dreams.
3.    Learn from every failure, and make adjustments.

If you are not failing enough – get busy. Your success depends on you.

One of my Eight Essential Elements of Extraordinary Leadership is “developing self and others”. Since the last edition of Leadership Tips I traveled to Naples. FL and spoke at the Association of Florida Colleges Convention. As I networked before and after my presentation, I was reminded of how important it is for leaders to participate in professional development activities and to provide opportunities for their teams to also attend professional development programs.

The participants at the AFC convention were energized, excited and enthusiastic. Not only were they learning new skills and techniques to improve their job performance, they were learning personal development skills like finding balance between work and life.

It is important for people (leaders and others) to focus on personal development. As I have stated many times, employees want to know that they matter. When they know that they are important to the leader, they are more engaged and that engagement translates into greater productivity. Whether your professional development activities are held at your business or off site, employees receive the message that “we matter.”

What do you do to develop self and others? I will be conducting several workshops in December titled “Growing Your Career and Balancing Your Life”. Please check out my “Claiming Your Value” power point presentation.  Contact me to schedule a workshop, seminar or presentation at your business to kick off the New Year.