We are reacting to a situation.
We feel like we aren’t good enough. Some women struggle with their identity after they turn fifty, they retire or their children leave. They are guilty because they feel lost.
We can’t forgive ourselves, or others. Forgiveness of self and others frees us so that we can manifest positive energy rather than wallowing in negative energy.
We “should” and “ought” ourselves. How many times have you said “I should’ve known…?” My first response when I learned that we had received a fraudulent offer on our house that was for sale was “I should’ve known.”
What if … We look at the worst case scenario instead of the best case scenario.
Our religious upbringing taught us to be guilty.
As children we heard these phrases with negative endings:
- “You are always…”
- “You never…”
- “It’s your fault…”
Try these tips for positively dealing with guilt:
- Focus on your strengths. Get the book Strengthsfinder 2.0 by Tom Rath and take the online assessment. Ask your friends what they think your strengths are.
- Practice affirmations. Create positive statements about yourself and post them where you will see them often. Put one on your computer screen, on the mirror, in your car.
- Release the power draining words “should” “ought” and “need” and replace them with the powerful phrase “I choose to…”
- Ask for what you want so you won’t feel guilty when you do make requests. My Grandmother once said to my Mother, “how will Betsy ever get what she wants if she doesn’t ask for it?”
- Treat yourself to something you love – because you are worth it.
- If you’ve made a mistake, accept it and move on. Say to yourself “I did the best I could with what I knew at the time.”
Guilt is a wasted emotion. Let it go!